S1, E83: The Relationship Recovery - Kierstyn & Tiffany
Navigating the aftermath of a breakup or divorce can feel like traversing an emotional minefield without a map. In the latest episode of Small Lake City Podcast, relationship experts Tiffany and Kierstyn from Relationship Recovery provide that much-needed roadmap for those finding themselves at this difficult crossroads.
The journey of healing from relationship trauma isn't a linear path, nor is it a destination to be reached. As the experts emphasized during our conversation, "Healing and growth is not a destination—it's a journey." This perspective shift alone can be transformative for those expecting a quick fix to their heartache. Recovery takes time, intentionality, and most importantly, a willingness to look inward rather than focus solely on the other person.
One particularly compelling insight from the episode was the concept that when relationships end, we often mourn not the actual person, but rather "what we thought it was going to be." This distinction helps explain why some relationships are so difficult to leave behind—we're grieving the future we had imagined, the expectations we had built, and the vision we had created. When Tiffany and Kierstyn work with clients, they help them separate this fantasy from reality, allowing them to see both the relationship and themselves more clearly.
The conversation also addressed a common misconception perpetuated by romantic comedies and popular culture: that love alone is sufficient for a successful relationship. "Love's not enough," they emphasized. Healthy relationships require shared values, aligned goals, mutual respect, and effective communication—elements that need cultivation and attention throughout the relationship's lifespan. This understanding is crucial both for those healing from past relationships and those venturing into new ones.
Perhaps most illuminating was the discussion about how we often repeat relationship patterns unconsciously. "You will always choose the familiar," they noted, highlighting how our comfort with certain dynamics—even destructive ones—can lead us back to similar situations again and again. Breaking this cycle requires awareness and intentional work to identify why certain relationship types feel comfortable despite being unhealthy.
For those in Salt Lake City specifically, the podcast explored unique cultural nuances that shape relationship expectations and experiences in the region. From religious influences to community pressures, these factors can complicate relationship decisions and divorce recovery. Yet despite these local particularities, the experts have found through their international work that many relationship challenges transcend geographic and cultural boundaries.
The transformative power of reconnecting with oneself emerged as a central theme throughout the discussion. When we're in unhealthy relationships, we often lose touch with our authentic selves, abandoning our own needs and desires in the process. Recovery, then, becomes largely about reclaiming that connection to self—understanding our values, boundaries, and purpose independent of anyone else's expectations or approval.
As we navigate the complicated terrain of relationships in the modern age, this conversation offers a compass—pointing not toward quick fixes or external validation, but toward the inner work that leads to genuine healing and authentic connection. Whether you're currently healing from relationship trauma, considering whether to stay or go in a challenging partnership, or simply seeking to understand relationship dynamics more deeply, this episode provides valuable insights for the journey.
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